"Protecting the Homeland"

It's great that we have the government to protect us and our freedom. In order to fulfill that duty, it has recently acted to tackle 3 of my worst fears - fears shared by millions of Americans. The government's agents scored victories for freedom by taking the following actions on our behalf:

1) A small bootleg radio station was sacked by the feds last Wednesday. Apparently the government hadn't granted them a freedom license to broadcast.

2) An indebted former Stanford Law student had $61,000 seized by the feds without charges on suspicion of prostitution. She (kinda sorta) allegedly worked as a call girl to pay off her debts.

3) A pregnant woman was shoved to her knees and arrested by the Metro Police in D.C. after having talked too loudly on her cell phone.

The government agents involved in these cases are obviously heroes. They should be saluted for protecting our freedom from the threat posed by small, anti-state radio stations; for protecting our freedom from someone else accepting payment for sex; and most of all, for protecting our freedom from hearing pregnant women yell at people on their cell phones. All of these innocent (oops didn't mean that!) people deserved what they got - a nice drubbing from the state's agents who protect our freedom. We should be thankful for their service. But for the heroic feats of these agents this would not be a free country.